Top Ten Ways to Get Your Heart in the Game!™

What does it mean to have your Heart in the Game™? Have you ever wondered what makes the difference between people who are genuinely excited and turned on to life and those people who just seem to be getting it done? I am fascinated by what it is about people who exude a passion and curiosity and excitement about their life. And the research I have done in talking with people who seem to love life no matter what is going on reveals that they have a couple of characteristics in common. Though they come from varied backgrounds including a waitress and shoe shiner, to a VP of an oil and gas company and a Director in Human Resources they are the same in a couple of key ways.

1. They are in an active state of appreciation for the gift of life. They are genuinely turned on to life and enthralled by the idea of one more day …
2. They have an intense desire to make their time count. They hold themselves accountable to the gift of life and wake up asking themselves one simple question, “How will I make a difference today?”

And this approach is transformative. Why? Because it provides you with the one thing people yearn for today more than anything else ... Meaning-Purpose-Fulfillment. It helps you stay engaged and make sense of life. It is an outlook that fuels hope for everything that makes life juicy and delicious.

Having your Heart in the Game™ means approaching life from a perspective of goodness, adventure and excitement. It means letting go of fear, and embracing all of your experiences as gifts that accelerate your learning and prepare you to be fully alive and fully yourself!

1. See Today as a Fresh Start

What if you got up each day filled with appreciation that you actually woke up … most of us wake up to the ALARM (to scare us into the day) and utter some expletive like, “Darn, I woke up.”

The great thing about the cycle of life is that each day is a chance to start again – to hit the redo button. You can forgive yourself for anything done less than perfect and aim to be better. Today. Right now. You are fully at choice. So pull yourself out of your own drama, feel alive and say to yourself, “Today is a great day to be alive!” What’s the alternative?! Look for some fun!

Try This:

• Start your day with a positive intention. Do it consciously. (Today I notice what’s fun, Today I am relaxed, present and open. Today is amazing. Today I am focused and productive.)

2. Believe in Something ... Get Crystal Clear About What Matters

Do you believe you have the power to make things happen and create change? Do you act as though you do? Do you have a vision or a dream for yourself? Do you know what you are learning right now?

When we give up on our dreams and stop believing in our greatest potential we become stagnant in our own lives ... end up watching too much reality tv ... and we take ourselves out of the game.

Decide to make this the year that you reinvest in your extraordinary life.

Try This:

• Make a list of 25 things you want to DO or BE in your life. Keep the list somewhere you can look at it often. Share it with someone.
• Write a value (creativity, connection, health, love, patience, fearlessness) that matters to you today on an index card. Carry it around and glance at it throughout the day.

3. Focus Your Energy and Attention on What is Good ...

in your life ... and get curious about everything else. Society and even your professional training conditions you to notice what is not right and what needs to be fixed. So we tend to notice what is wrong with the world. We’re good at making judgements. Problem is often this automatic predisposition keeps us from noticing what is wonderful and experiencing real joy and contentment. Remember you always have a choice about how to see something and then how you describe a situation and the kinds of conversations that you have. Choose a different story. Every situation, experience has a positive and a negative story – they’re both true. Only one serves you though ... the negative one makes you feel bad. And when you feel bad the actions that follow usually aren’t the ones that will give you the results you want.

Try This:

• Ask yourself, “What if this problem was really the best thing?” and “How could this be good?”
• Decide to go for a whole day without complaining. Remember if you need to - Begin Again!
• Make today a day where you look for every opportunity to acknowledge people everywhere about absolutely anything. Decide this will be fun.

4. Increase Your Eccentricity Quotient

How weird can you be and still keep your job? Right now, be more YOU. Give yourself permission to love and even amp up your uniqueness. This is the path to authentic contribution. And don’t apologize for not fitting in ... this isn’t about being rude or disrespectful of course, it’s really about giving yourself more freedom to be yourself and in the process you become way more compelling. The added bit, is that when you accept yourself you are more likely to make room for other people to be real as well. And when people feel comfortable around you your relationships improve, trust builds and you feel connected.

Try This:

• Get to know yourself better. Answer these questions ... What brings me pleasure? What am I proudest of? What is the biggest risk I have ever taken? When am I at my best, most enthralling? When do I lose track of time? What have I been holding back because I’m afraid that I will be judged? What do I really want to do, be, have? What can I do today to become more alive?

5. Cool Down

Are you racing ... even right now as you are reading this do you feel like you “gotta go, gotta run?” Slow down everything – even how you walk. Breathe! What is the hurry? That is a serious question. The problem is that most people don’t even recognize that they are speeding through life missing most of it. Multi-tasking has become the ideal – and "busyness" a jarring reality. When you really think about it though – when you tell yourself or someone else that your are busy – what are you doing? It’s not possible to do more than one thing at a time – you switch back and forth, and you are always doing one thing and dropping the other. It is the cause for mistakes, errors, accidents, poor memory, bad relationships and a brutal sense of emptiness at the end of a frantic day. Real connections with people and nature make us feel alive – being focussed only on crossing tasks off our to-do list in an endless race doesn’t. No matter how much you get done.

Try This:

• Buy a rubber duck and stick it on your desk or in your car if you tend to drive a little like a maniac. Every time you look at it remind yourself to slow down, chill, relax ... life isn’t supposed to be such a race. Lighten Up!
• Watch yourself breathe. Yes, you don’t actually have to Do it. It’s all taken care of. So notice your breathing throughout your day and feel yourself slow down.
• Don’t eat your lunch at your desk. Instead read something, eat an ice cream, have a conversation, go for a slow walk, listen to your ipod – give yourself a change of pace.

6. Make Meaningful Connections Soon

Let yourself sink into the very next conversation you have. Listen with fascination. Look in their eyes. See who it is you're talking to. Get out of your head and into your heart and don’t worry about planning your part of the conversation – just let it happen. Meet without a script. Be curious instead of trying to make your points and get out of there.

Try This:

• Decide to have lunch with the wackiest person you know in your organization and find out what’s new in their world.
• Spend some time with a loved one or a colleague. and use the secret rule – questions only. Just be intensely interested – say things like, “So, how was that?”’ How do you feel about it?” What do you think you will do next?”, “How do you think that will go?, “What will that be like for you?” and “How can I help?”
• Look people in the eye and use their names.

7. Check Your Greeting - Choose to be Better that Fine!

When you ask someone how they are the most common response you get is “fine”, or “not bad”, “can’t complain”, “could be worse”, “hanging in there”, “exhausted”, “so busy”, “well I’m here aren’t I?” or worst of all, “It’s all pensionable time.” Wake people up with something a little different. I was at the dentist and one of the partners greeted me and asked me how I was. I replied, “Fabulous.” When he responded, “I’ve heard …” I cracked up. That made my day. Try something interesting like, “too hot for you”, “verging on excellent” or “sweet!” Go ahead, amuse someone.

Try This:

• Change your voice mail – amp it up a little – put some enthusiasm into it and make it more fun.
• Greet people (especially negative ones) with, “What’s new in your world?” It begs for a positive response.
• Don’t get negative about negative people. Remember you still get to choose how you show up. Don’t become the thing you disdain. They are just testing you ...

8. Recover, Recover, Recover...

Your confidence is your most valuable resource. Get back on track quickly. Remember other people’s opinion of you is none of your business. Remind yourself of what you are up to, solidify the learning and get back at it.

Try This:

• Write in a journal about whatever it is that took you out of your game – what did you learn? What can you do next time?
• Do something immediately to start feeling better – talk to someone who is upbeat and positive and reminds you of your strengths, read a recent thank you card or piece of acknowledgment, go for a walk, have a popsicle, chew some gum and blow a bubble ... try not to be so serious.
• Get back to work ... say to yourself ... "Next."

9. Take Good Care of Yourself

Eat right. Drink Water. Sleep. Exercise. Connect. Laugh. You cannot continue to give what you don’t have. Think of yourself like a car ... when you notice you are running out of gas, you don’t say to yourself, "Oh well – I’ll get some another day. Not today I don’t have time." You can’t run on empty ... it’s no fun to run out of gas. It takes longer to rejuvenate when you are burnt out.

Try This:

• At the end of each day ask yourself what did I do today to take care of myself?
• Write down what you want to say YES to? Then ask yourself what you need to say NO to.
• Ask yourself if I live like I do right now for the next 5 years where will I be? Is that where you want to be? What can I do now to change that?

10. Get Preoccupied with the Spirit of Play!

One of the biggest lessons of this life is to not take yourself too seriously. Someone once said “Don’t worry; someday you will be able to laugh.” Why wait? People are not perfect and once you get on to that and start laughing at yourself you can achieve more. Why? Because you know that on the way to your goals and dreams you are going to screw up occasionally – you give yourself a little more freedom to be messy. And you are more fun to be around! Begin by paying attention to what is funny around you – you can amuse yourself all day long if you want to...

Try This:

• Inspiring leaders have a kid alive in them – keep a Hula Hoop in your office, and when you’re feeling as though work has stopped being fun – get up and shake things up a little. Invite an unsuspecting visitor to try it out.
• Write a first time list – make it your intention to continue to experiment with life and each time you are given the opportunity to do something for the first time – just say YES!
• Look for what’s funny. Find it. Go after it.